“After 25 years I just got sick of blaming my father”
Those words were shared in an intimate setting where me and forty other dads joined together to enjoy a weekend with our sons and learn how to become better fathers. The question asked of all of us was, “What brought you here?” Simple enough question that allowed for a plethora of answers. But this dads answer stuck out to me the most. As the guy shared about his dad, and growing up as a kid, he finally came to a place where he was being honest with himself and said, “After 25 years I just got sick of blaming my father.” I went up to him after our session together and thanked him for being vulnerable and honest. He said that he could only blame his father for so long until he finally has come to the realization that he needs to take responsibility for his own actions.
Two years ago, I enjoyed this experience with my then 10-year-old son Owen. This past weekend I brought along my 10-year-old son Wyatt. The weekend is meant to be a time of bonding between Fathers and Sons, but also to become a better father by understanding your own story with your father. Having gone on this weekend twice now I am reminded of the powerful influence that us dads have in the lives of our children. One important aspect of the weekend is hearing different dad’s share how they were hurt by the words their dads spoke to them when they were kids. It’s a powerful thing to listen to these grown men share while weeping and yearning to hear affirming words from their dads. Even Jesus was affirmed by his father in hearing the words, “This is my son in whom I am well pleased.” All of us have a yearning in our hearts to be blessed by our earthly fathers; to hear words that encourage us and convey love to us. As Wyatt and I drove away from camp I was asking myself what kind of stories am I writing on the hearts of my children? What memories am I making with them? What investment am I making in future generations long after I’m gone?
I realized that I have so much yet to learn about being a dad and a Christ follower.
Visit www.restorationproject.net If you would like to hear more about this movement of intentional fathering.