What do you do with the mad that you feel? Catchy, isn’t it? It was a song written by Fred Rogers of Mister Rogers Neighborhood fame. He always had a way of taking simple concepts and turning them into something profound. I came across this song just recently and it caused me to stop and ask myself that question, “what do I do with the mad that I feel?”
I must confess that I get mad more than I let on. I know that I come across as a mild mannered, pastoral type person who is easy to get along with. While some of that may be true there is another side of me that tends to mope, curse under my breath, and do a LOT of talking to myself. Most of my anger tends to be directed toward members of my family who are under the age of 18. I have three children and it seems that I am rarely mad at all three of them at the same time. Instead I think they find it humorous for me to be mad at just one of them at a time. They seemingly take delight in taking turns doing things that cause me to burn with anger. My angry side is known around our house as “The Beast”. When The Beast takes over my body my children tell me that I get very focused, my eyes look as if I am straining to see something far away but really I am boring a hole right through their very souls. To help with my focus I am told that I begin to make strange noises that come from my nose as if I am a bull pawing the ground ready to charge the object of my anger.
And don’t even get me started when it comes to my wife. I mean after almost 20 years of marriage you would think that she would know how to avoid making me angry. But noooo….it’s just the opposite. She knows EXACTLY the kinds of things that make me angry. Why just writing this I am beginning to feel my heart racing a little faster and the computer screen is coming more into focus. It’s time to stop. Because what do I do with the mad that I feel?
That’s a great question isn’t it. The answer of course lies in how I respond to whatever it is that is causing me to become angry. Anger is a powerful emotion. In fact, one could argue that it is just as powerful as love. It’s how we handle our anger that helps to define us as people and to go a step further, how it defines us as Christ followers. The Apostle Paul writing to the church in Ephesus tells the Believers there that in their anger they are not to sin. So apparently, it is ok to be angry about things; it’s just not ok to sin. Even Jesus, in His anger, cleared the corrupt money changers out of the Temple. It doesn’t appear that He was very polite as He went about his table overturning tirade. It was idolatry, corruption, and injustice that caused Jesus to become angry. He said, “you have turned my house of prayer into a den of thieves.”
When confronting injustice becoming angry seems to be justified in Scripture. So that begs the question, “when does my anger cross over and become sin”? I think it becomes sinful when we hurt people. Hurting comes in the form of both our words and our actions. We have all done it. And it’s almost always reactionary in nature. So, “what do you do with the mad that you feel?” Going to God in prayer is an obvious first step, but so is confiding in someone else and being transparent with them about your anger. If need be counseling might be another option to pursue as ongoing anger might be the presentation of deeply held wounds. Addressing these wounds, and thereby addressing your anger, hopefully will cause you to grow deeper in your faith in God.
“What do you do with the mad that you feel?”
Recommended book to read: “How People Grow” by Dr. Henry Cloud and Dr. John Townsend. A wonderful book about both personal and spiritual growth.